Arming Up for the Zombie Showdown

So, what’s the best weapon to have, in case of a zombie apocalypse?

Oooookay . . . . . interesting question

Personally, my vote goes to the shotgun. Often venerated, never under-rated with more bang for your buck than anything ‘cept your sister, it’s gotta be a contender, right? Ordinarily, a shotgun would end most arguments, (and field testing at debate clubs confirm this) but we do have to concern ourselves with the question of ammo. Precisely, what you do when you run out. In this case, the answer is “get proper fucked.” You could use it as a club, which is more than what you could say for other guns. (I’m looking at you Glock. Plastic parts may cut it for Michael Jackson, but not for pistol whipping the undead hordes.) I suppose the crisis of ammo consumption would eliminate most firearms from the list, and probably knocks chainsaws off as well for the similar situation regarding fuel.

Damn, I was looking forward to those.

Anyway, that brings us to weapons without reloading requirements. A baseball bat seems reliable, but the custom jobs seem to break with alarming regularity in the major league. Oh well, you’re probably better off with a cricket bat anyway. You’ve seen “Shaun of the Dead” haven’t you? Could Simon Pegg possibly lie to you?

Could Simon Pegg even kick your ass?

Probably not. Who could? I know.

Toshiro Mifune baby.

So with the reference to cinema’s sovereign samurai, as our segue way into the suggestion of swords, the debate continues. You may lack the relevant martial experience, but do you really need it? Bruce Willis wasn’t a sword-slinger, but Zed is still dead. Availability of the katana might be an issue, so if you’re looking for some heavy metal to cleave with on a budget, you could probably make do with a fire-axe, available at most office and apartment building fire-stations. I guess the big issue with these choices is if you have enough force behind your swing to slice all the way through. If not, your sharpie is now stuck in a zombie, leaving you defenseless.

You know, this is a tough question. Just give me a minute to do some research, and reacquaint myself with the enemy.

From “thefullzombie.com” ”

A zombie will remain in a robot-like state indefinitely until he tastes either salt or meat. Then he becomes aware of his condition and returns to the grave.”
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
We’re worried about an apocalyptic attack from an army that can be subdued by Oscar Meyer? God damn it, I just know Toshiro Mifune, is spinning in his grave right now. Of course if I’m wrong and he and the other six samurai do rise from the grave, at least we can take those bitches down with hot dogs.

Best Apps for iPhone if you are a Massive Dungeons & Dragons Dork

best apps for iphoneAs I was driving home from the latest DnD session with my fellow dorks last Sunday, I started to let my mind drift. As per usual my body was filled with Doritos and Dr. Pepper so I was all hopped up on pure ‘dorkatude.’ This is when I recalled a moment during my day where a co-worker came by my office and shared his opinion of the ‘Best Apps for iPhone.’ The fact is everyday he comes by and tells that he has found the latest and best new app for the iPhone.

This got me thinking about iPhones and Dungeons and Dragons.

I decided that I would research what was in my opinion the best apps for iphone that were related to Dungeons and Dragons. When I arrived at home I cracked open iTunes and started searching through the app store in search of the best iphone apps for DnD. Below is my list of the top (there are only 4!) apps for the iPhone related to Dungeons and Dragons.

The Dicenomicon: I found a lot of dice rolling apps. Most of them were pretty crappy looking and lacked any real aesthetic value. If you own an iPhone it seems obvious that aesthetics are important to you. The Dicenomicon was the most realistic looking iphone app. The best feature was the fact that you can give your iPhone a shake to roll the dice, and if you reroll the dice you can hold a die in place and roll the rest. There are a ton of different condition you can apply when it creates the total for you. For example: roll 4d6 and keep the highest 3 rolls. I think the Dicenomicon is a must have iPhone app for any DnD player, especially for those sessions where you forget your dice and have to borrow your friends crap dice. Check out the light version or the full version of The Dicenomicon.

Spellbook Master: If you ever play any kind of spellcasting class then you know how much of a pain it is to be constantly thumbing through your book to check out a few details of a spell, or if you are a DM and you need to quickly check and see if a spell requires a saving through even though your PC’s say “No it doesn’t require a save.” The Spellbook Master iphone app makes it easy to reference spells either by class, domain, school, element etc. all from your iPhone! It is the best tool you can have if you play any kind of spellcaster. for more details and screenshots check out the app page for the Spellbook Master

Quick Roll: This is another dice rolling iphone app, yet it is much different than the Dicenomicon. With this you can program specific dice roll variables into the interface and then quickly roll them. So you can have your initiative roll modifier added in, your fortitude save and so on. You can pretty much have every item that you need to roll added into the app so you don’t have to slow down the game by constantly adding in all your modifiers from all over place. I am sure we have all had a moment where another player (never us) rolls to strike and then begins to keep adding in the modifiers: I have power attack, I’m using the weapon 2 handed, and on and on. If you want to streamline your gaming then read up on the Quick Roll app

tCiMP Character in My Pocket: This great iPhone app allows you to keep your character and all of it’s information stored on your iPhone. Gone are the days where you can’t play because you forgot your character sheet at home.It has a built in rolling system so you can roll stats and create new characters. With this app you will never be without a character ever again! Check out the Character in My Pocket app

So those are as far as I can tell the best apps for iPhone that pertain to Dungeons and Dragons. If you are browsing through the itunes app section and find another great DnD app please share it with us in the comment section below, or help spread the word to other dorks by clicking that precious Stumble Upon or Digg buttons!